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Mrs. Kopp's comments will be in PURPLE! Topic: American Beauty

celebrity before and after video for plastic surgery: [] Video of Bulimia Nervosa []


 * __//outline://__** you need to have your thesis statement here - Also you MUST check spelling! Otherwise this outline looks good!


 * Intro sentance
 * Bulimia Nervosa
 * Tattoos and Piercings
 * Plastic Surgary
 * Waxing
 * Thesis
 * Paragraph 1:**
 * Bulimia Nervosa opening sentance...
 * Why they do it
 * How does it hurt/harm them
 * what might happen in the future/ who is at risk.
 * closing sentance
 * Paragraph 2:**
 * Tattoos and piercings opening sentances
 * Why they do it
 * How does it hurt/harm them
 * What might happen in the future
 * closing sentance
 * Paragraph 3:**
 * plastic surgary opening sentance
 * why they do it
 * how does it harm/hurt them
 * what might happen in the future
 * closing sentance
 * Paragraph 4:**
 * waxing opening sentance
 * Why people do it
 * how does it hurt/ harm them
 * what might happen in the future
 * closing sentance
 * Paragraph 5: **
 * In conclusion,........
 * Bulimia Nervosa
 * Tattoos and piercings
 * Plastic Surgary
 * Waxing
 * thesis

From early on, people have been willing to do almost anything to become beautiful in their own way! They endure pain one pinch and pull at a time even if it harms them when they get older. In addition, 21 percent of women and 11 percent of men described themselves as unattractive, and 31 percent of women and 16 percent of men reported feeling so uncomfortable in a swimsuit that they avoid wearing one in public so they will do almost anything to change themselves, Frederick and his colleagues reported ("Physorg.com"). Great statistics and an interesting way to start your paper. In America, people do things like make they themselves sick to obtain the ideal image that they might think looks good! They also do things like putting ink on their body that hurts more to take off then to put on! The American population put holes all over themselves for piercing as well as having surgery done to enhance their look because they were not happy with themselves before! You are over doing the exclamation point. Also there is the option of ripping their hair out from the root that many chose to experience even if it is for only one harsh moment. American Beauty is like no other, the population goes through many painful procedures that may hurt, but Americans take the risk and try to keep up with the current standard of beauty.

You need a transition here. Bulimia Nervosa is an eating disorder when people make themselves vomit. The reason for a person to have this disorder is that they are preoccupied with their weight and body image. Effects of this eating disorder are Chronic gastric reflex, dehydration caused by frequent vomiting, an Electrolyte imbalance that can lead to Heart attack or death, erosion of tooth enamel, and swollen salivary glands. A person may eat tons of food at one time, and then try to get rid of the food by vomiting, using laxatives, or over exercising. This eating disorder is associated with depression, and other psychiatric disorders. If this disorder is not treated it can lead to nutritional deficiencies and even fatal complications (Wikipedia). White middle class women usually teenagers or college students, people with low self esteem, or people with a family history of mood disorders and substance abuse are most at risk for this disorder (University of Maryland Medical Center). This disorder affects one to two percent of adolescent and young women. About 80 percent of Bulimia Nervosa patients are female (NEDA). Bulimia Nervosa can be deadly and is bad for your health (Wikipedia). Great information! Is all this information paraphrased?

Transition needed. People think that tattoos and piercing are a sign of art and people like to show it off since art is beautiful on their bodies (Yahoo). Others think it takes away from your <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">avoid using "you" or "your" in professional writing natural beauty or are against their religions. People also do this to make themselves feel good by feeling the pain (Ask Experience Project).Some people do this for the desire of others (Yahoo), but did you know getting tattooed and pierced can lead to some serious consequences? <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">This question is not needed - just state the facts Getting tattooed could lead to AIDS and Hepatitis if the needles are not properly sterilized. The pigments, which are going under the skin, are also being used as drugs. Some carcinogenic pigment was made at the Sun Chemical in Cincinnati and was not meant for tattoos. It was meant for paint that is used on cars. Also, if people get tattoos it could lead to lead poisoning from the pigments (Germ Stop). Getting piercings can also lead to serious consequences such as Tetanus, HIV, and Tuberculosis (Bodnar). People can die from these experiences and could eventually pass it on to someone else and they have the risk of dieing also. Should we really risk our lives getting tattoos and piercing?



Plastic surgery is another procedure that people can have if they feel that they need to become more beautiful and it comes at a high cost both in price and what could happen to the patients in the future. Most people do it for good reasons like they got into a car accident and need it from the damage, but people also do it for their jobs if they are models and need to look "better". While these are good reasons, some people have it done for the wrong reasons; some examples are relationships, old or new, a midlife crisis, depression, the fact that they never liked the way they looked, or having surgery as a way of enhancing what they already have. (Judge, Barrish-Wedden) <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">punctuation goes after the citation because it's part of the sentence. Some ways plastic surgery can be harmful is that is causes scarring, blood infection and clotting, nerve damage, premature aging and unnatural looking features on facial surgeries, and sometimes even death. Death does happen in plastic surgery, with a facelift, 1 person out of every 1000 die, with a "tummy tuck" 1 person out of every 600 die, and with liposuction, 1 person for every 5000 die. (dryoyho.com) All of these can affect the patient in the future because scarring always stays on the body and it is unsightly, blood infection and clotting are both very dangerous and can eventually kill them, premature aging and unnatural features are unsightly as they get older especially, nerve damage can make them lose their sense of feel, and obviously due to death they might not live long enough to have these affect them when you are older.(abroadcertifiedplasticsurgeonresource.com) <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">run on sentence Even though there are so many risks, 48% of women said they would have plastic surgery and 23% said that they would possibly be interested, also 23% of men said that they would and 17% said that there was a possibility that they would. (physorg.com) Plastic surgery is one way to look the way someone wants, but it can be very dangerous and painful and some Americans still have it done. <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">Your information is well researched.



Waxing is an ancient method that is performed professionally or with a do it yourself kit at home. It is a procedure of semi-permanent hair removal which takes the hair out from the root cause (“Waxing”). People do it almost all over their body to get rid of unwanted hair. Waxing is done by spreading a wax mix thinly over skin and then a cloth or paper is placed on top of it and ripped off with a quick movement (“Waxing”). When the cloth or paper is removed there is a very sharp pain but it only lasts for a short period. People that do this are exposed to ingrown hairs, red bumps, and minor bleeding. Later on if it is done incorrectly, it might disturb hair follicles, causing hair to grow in different directions and therefore it will become more noticeable (“Waxing”). Although this procedure is not deadly, it can hurt greatly and is one thing that people do to make themselves feel more beautiful.



In conclusion, in America most people will do almost anything to become more beautiful even if it means going through painful procedures to do it. Some people are so obsessed about becoming skinnier and losing weight that they will make themselves get sick and it can become very harmful to their future health. Also people who get tattoos have ink-tipped needles put into their bodies hundreds of times and to take them off it hurts even worse than that. Plus, many people who get piercing on their ears, nose, face, and body have holes pinched into their body and jewelry put through them. People even have surgeries to make themselves skinnier, or have better looking features. Finally, when people get waxed, they have their undesirable hair ripped out from their bodies from the roots. Even though it can be painful, most people in America will do almost anything to become what they think is beautiful. <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">Good conclusion Bodnar, Jacqueline. "Teens, Tattoos, and Piercings: More Than Meets the Eye ." __4 troubled teens__ 27 Mar 2009 <[]>.

"Bulimia Nervosa." __NEDA.__ 19 Mar. 2009. <[]>.

"Bulimia nervosa." __University of Maryland Medical Center.__ 17 Mar. 2009. <[]>.

"Bulimia nervosa." __Wikipedia.__ 17 Mar. 2009. 17 Mar. 2009. <[]>.

"Dangers of Plastic Surgery." __abroadcertifiedplasticsurgeonresource.com__. 25 March 2009. 17 Mar 2009 []

"Estimated Death Rate for Cosmetic Surgery Related Procedures." __dryoho.com__. 26 Mar 2009 <[]>.

"Getting Tattooed Could Have Hidden Health Consequences." __Germ Stop__ 27 Mar 2009 <[]>.

James, Andrea. "Waxing." __Hair Facts__. 30-8-2005. 20 Mar 2009 []

Judge, Kay, Maxine 'Barish-Wedden. "Cosmetic surgery: Think first." __The Sacramento Bee__ 3/13/2009 20 Mar 2009 []

"Most Popular Plastic Surgery Procedures." __A Board Certified Plastic Surgeon.__ 16 Mar. 2009. 17 Mar. 2009. []

"Waxing." __Wikipedia__. 2008. Wikimedia Foundation, Inc. 17 Mar 2009 []..

"Why do people judge others that have piercings or tattoos?." __Yahoo__ (2009) 17 Mar 2009 <[]>.

"Why do so many people find piercings and tattoos nasty?." __Ask Expierience Project__ 12 Mar 2009 17 Mar 2009 <[]>.

<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">Works cited looks great. This paper was overall well researched and well done! Great job!

<span style="display: block; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; color: rgb(38, 0, 255); background-color: rgb(255, 0, 208); text-align: left;">Rubrics for your Research Paper

- The research paper must contain a thesis statement that is discussed and proven in the paper. Stick to your topic. 50 pts +50 -Paper discuss beauty in the culture you were assigned and also reflects on how that beauty is maintained. 30pts +30 -Each group must complete an outline BEFORE they start writing their paper and submit it with the final paper. 20 pts +17 - Parenthetical citations (in MLA format) must be used correctly throughout paper. 25 pts +20 - A works cited page must be included at the end of your paper. 20 pts +20 -Researched information must be paraphrased correctly or in quotes. 25 pts +20 --Each group has used at LEAST two book sources, one internet source, and one database source. 15 pts +15 - Paper includes photos and video that enhance writing. 40pts +40 -Paper contains correct spelling, transitions, complex sentence structures, and good vocabulary. 20 pts +12 -Photos and video are placed in appropriate places in the paper. 15pts +15 <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);"> Total Points: 240/260 = 92 A- Well done! <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">

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